There are times when I feel I have nothing and that I am a nobody. Just because I am a work-at-home-mom who earns a meager salary, completely dependent on my husband to live. It used to be the other way around. That time when I was still earning in my prime earning a lot– accepting projects left and right–oftentimes passing them on to others.
And then my son came. Not that I am not happy with his arrival–he totally changed my life. I’m not complaining. I wanted this. I dreamed about this– a housewife and a mother.
I never saw myself as a career woman. Really. I had an epiphany more than a decade ago…that I didn’t want to stay in the corporate world. Good thing opportunity came so at 23, I retired. Actually, semi-retired. God has provided a way for me to leave my comfort zone–the corporate world.
I saw my first work-at-home job as God’s way of preparing me to become a housewife. Within less than a year, I got married. God provided a way for me to learn how to keep a house as I had to take care of my brother, niece, and grandmother. My parents were then living with my sister after dad suffered a stroke. I had to learn how to manage a household. Finances and all.
God provided for me and Joshua to get married at such a young age. We were 24. That’s young for today’s standard. Too young for two persons to be on their own. Wedding finances weren’t a problem that it only took us two months to prepare. Crazy? I know. But God made it happen.
God provided me and my husband jobs so we could live on our own comfortably and not depend on our parents as we start a family. Again, allowed by grace.
God provided and blessed my womb even before I took a pregnancy test.
God provided us jobs (yet again) to provide for our son. To give him all that he needs and more– overflowing love, joy, and care.
God provided us homes. The past six years of our marriage, we’ve changed residences a few times. But the last move, God brought us to our own house. It was all God’s grace and favor. Unexpected blessing. It happened quickly. On top of my mind is how God taught me humility and gave Josh and me the grace to wait in the Lord. Amazing love. Amazing provision. Amazing grace. Amazing God.
“God has already provided”, my husband would always tell me.
I sometimes fear about the future. It’s normal to worry at our age especially given the nature of our jobs (freelancer and contractual) but God has never failed to provide for our needs. Packing up our stuff and moving also made me realize that I am more than blessed and that I have no reason to be not contented.
I know that there will be hard times and that we need to be ready. Just in case. Ready to be challenged. Ready to be in need. Ready to help. Ready to minister. This year, I know He will provide a way for us to experience freedom. We already are. I already feel free. I just need to remind myself.
Last year, we saw God’s favor. His provision. His magnificence. His grace.
This year, we want more of all those. We don’t desire abundance for selfish reasons but we want them for God’s Greater Glory.
“For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.”