Dads, Guard Your Princesses


My dad never told me “don’t have sex, don’t get pregnant, or don’t have a boyfriend”. He didn’t tell me, “Don’t do anything that would dishonor our family.”

He simply told me, “Don’t do anything that would dishonor God.” And that statement stuck in my head. Kept it close in my heart. Same thing I would tell my son and future daughter.

Here’s a must-read article for men, fathers of daughters.

And here are my favorite lines:

  • Here’s the deal, men. We are morally, financially, spiritually and legally responsible for our girls. When they turn 18, the government says they can vote, die for our country and even pay their own consequences for bad decisions as an adult. But guess what? Even when they turn 18, we are still morally, spiritually and (usually) financially responsible for them.
  • We must do our job as dads to ensure the greatest odds of success for our girls. By “doing our job,” I am not talking about providing for them. That’s just part of the deal when you have a kid. Providing would be the minimum acceptable standard of being their father.
  • Model love, respect and service toward your wife. Remember, more is caught than taught. She is going to look for someone just like you, like it or not.

 

God, I miss my dad. Sniff.

Be United in Love

united in loveIt is God who brings a man and a woman together in love and marriage. He makes two separate individuals one in unity. He blesses them to be one in love and life. Together, they will fulfill the mission God has given them–as husband and wife, and as his and her own.

It’s a wonderful gift to find that one that is meant for you. It is a praise-worthy item that each married couple must thank God for each day.

Marriage. With it comes the marriage bed, the household, and if willed by God–children. All these strengthen the bond between the husband and wife more.

God desires the two to be stronger and closer so nurture your relationship. Grow together in the Word. Respect each other. Accept each other’s differences. Build up one another. Be honest. Commit to purity. LOVE. [IMG]

Let no one separate you. Nothing and no one in this world would and should ever be worthy to make you leave your spouse.

…that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ. (Colossians 2:2, ESV)

How I Became a WAHM (… and How My Husband Became a WAHD)

I’ve lost count of how many times I answered the question, “What work do you do?” I used to answer, “I do SEO Consultancy”. And then it became, “Web Manager”. But now, I just say, “I work from home”. I would always get a “wow!” as reaction. In my head I would say “it’s not that easy”.

I’m a WAHM now– short for Work-At-Home-Mom. It hasn’t always been this way but I got into this WAHMderful career easier than others (I think). Even before I got married and had a son, I was already working from home.

I would always refer to my resignation from my last office job as my”retirement”. It was in April 2007 when I decided to leave the corporate job as an SEO Manager. I was about to get married soon but without any definite date yet. I had a job waiting for me at home. No, I wasn’t getting ready for being a homemaker but a UK-based company was needing an SEO Consultant. I don’t remember where I saw the job but I got it. I didn’t even know it was a telecommuting job. I guess it was just God telling me to heed a new direction for yet another different direction–marriage.

I worked for a European startup. It was a web design company who wanted to offer site optimization. Six years ago, every web company was into it. I helped the company start the service and worked for them for about nine months. On the side, I was also helping a Korean employment agency and was pro-blogging for a tech website. The latter has grown into more than just extra work as it is now my full time job— has been for more than five years.

When the consultancy work ended, I wasn’t thinking about my next job. I was about to get married in a month. Fine. It wasn’t time to apply for a new job yet. I had the wedding and my groom to worry about. But God, in His goodness and mercy, blessed me with a new one five days before my January 20, 2008 wedding. My Managing Editor e-mailed me, saying the company was seeking for an editorial assistant. I accepted the offer immediately but told him I was about to get married and will be going on my honeymoon the following week.

What perfect timing! I didn’t even think about the salary because I was glad to be offered a job. I could go on with the wedding without being ‘jobless’. It’s been more than 5 years since then—same job, same salary. I do problogging– writing tech news, gadget and app reviews, and now about cars. I used to have a fixed schedule working from 1pm to 9pm but ever since I gave birth, my boss said I could work from 1pm to 4pm and then come back at 9pm.

I see this job as a blessing. I used to accept a lot of projects. Before the baby came, I used to work from 7am to 2am the next day. I was that busy! I would even outsource some of my projects to my husband and my friends. I was on a roll and I would earn almost twice my salary when I was still in the office. That was before.

When I had my son, I suddenly didn’t have enough time. You know why. I was blessed to have my mom come in during the afternoon to take care of the baby while I work. But as the months and years go by, I had to let go of my projects so I decided to focus on only one– my full-time blogging job. I have no regrets but still it wasn’t easy.

My husband became a work-at-home-dad soon after our Noah turned one. His getting this job was also interesting. I was tired of him getting home from work so one night, I stopped working and decided to send his resume to whatever job posting I’d see. A few weeks after, he received a call, got interviewed, and was offered a job. We didn’t even know it was a telecommuting job. We only found out during his final interview.

We were only praying for a new job that would allow him to go home earlier but God blessed our family with more than what we asked for. My husband has been working for a Canadian software metrics as a Business Analyst/Team Leader for almost three years. His is a more serious job because he works with other employees based in Canada and the US. It’s a “real job” because he travels every year for their annual conference and training. Next week, he’ll be going to India to conduct a training. His company has started to form a Philippine team because the owner of the company, who is a Filipino-American wants to give back to his mother land. My husband now reports once a week in their office in Ortigas where he meets with all the other Filipino employees.

That’s how I became a WAHM. I am a Work-At-Home-Mom/Wife to a Work-At-Home-Dad. As to how we’re thriving, I have yet to write about that. 🙂

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For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10

Hello, I’m a WAHM!

How I Became a WAHM (… and how my husband became a WAHD)
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Hi! I’m Reah and I’ve been working from home since 2007. I was single when I started working from home. I used to do SEO Consultancy but am now working “fulltime” as a blogger/editorial assistant for a German-based publication. I write tech news, gadgets, reviews, and just recently about cars. Salary is fixed but no change for more than five years and am on a flexi-schedule.

I got married to my childhood friend Joshua and we now have a super active pre-schooler named Noah. My husband is a musician at heart. He is a Business Analyst for a Canada-based software company and is a Work-At-Home-Dad. Yeah, that’s a WAHM living with a WAHM. I find our setup challenging because we do not have a helper (just a cleaning lady who comes in MWF) and a yaya for the little boy. It’s our choice not to get a yaya for many reasons. It’s difficult but we prefer it that way. Less stress. It would be different though when we decide to have another child. We’ll see.

I used to get other freelance jobs, mostly writing and web management, but I decided to focus on just one ever since I had my son. I can say I am blessed to be working with my boss who is very kind and understanding. I don’t know until when I’ll have this telecommuting job. But if and when my work ends, I want to start a buy-and-sell business or maybe take up my Masters.

This year has been challenging for me as a WAHM because after more than five years of “hibernation”, I have to go out everyday to bring my son to school. You see, we’re so used to sleeping and getting up late, both my husband and I, because of our work setup, but now we have to adjust everything for our son. I would say, “This is it. We’re no longer baby-sitting our son. Real parenting starts now.”

I realize that it’s not easy to become a homemaker. Mothers now have it easy though because we can still work from the comforts of our home and help support our household. I also think it’s not for everyone. I know a lot of people who tried telecommuting only to give up their jobs and get back to working in an office. It requires a lot of sacrifice financially, emotionally, and spiritually. How I wish all the moms I know could stay at home and be with their kids but sacrifices need to be made.

I’ve been a part of  the Manila Work-At-Home-Moms Facebook Group since last year. I got to meet some of you during the WAHMderful life seminar back in January. It’s really nice to read about how others are coping as a WAHM. Different women, different challenges…with same desire to become the wife and mother God wants us to be. 🙂

Read: How I Became a WAHM (… and how my husband became a WAHD)

 

School Boy

Our little one is now a pre-schooler. The new school our church has opened up is really a blessing. Waking up is still a struggle while I’m slowly getting used to commuting and walking. After more than five years after hibernation, this mommy is now ready to face the sun. (Obvious na nga may tanlines na ako.LOL!)

I have a tendency to write a “novel” about this new milestone in our life so I’ll just share photos. (Madami pa rin. 😀 )

 

THIS. IS. IT.
We can do more stuff together…

Continue reading School Boy

Bohol Tours and Travel: Panglao Beach

Before summer ended and a week before Noah starts school, our little family went to Bohol for a big reunion with my husband’s family on his dad’s side. It was a trip of many firsts for us: Noah’s first beach experience, husband and I’s first beach trip since our honeymoon,  first trip with Joshua’s whole family, and first time for us to meet his relatives.

It was my first time in Bohol too. It was just a quick trip but I can say I enjoyed every minute. I even got teary-eyed when Noah was finally playing on the sand. Husband and I were sitting on the shore watching our toddler play when he suddenly said, “Dati tayong dalawa lang ngayon tatlo na tayo.” Of course, the Drama Queen in me was moved. It was an “Awww” moment not just for me but also for my husband. It really meant something that he is that kind of family guy I’ve always dreamed of. He exceeded my expectations when it comes to being a husband and a father to Noah especially.

Enough of the drama. Allow me to share with you photos of our Bohol trip.

About to check-in with the soon-to-be pilot Uncle Sam...
About to check-in with the soon-to-be pilot Uncle Sam…
This little boy likes airplanes…
Noah: I wanna be a pilot someday.

 

Snapshots of our Bohol Trip

 

bohol trip
Sun and sand, finally!
So serene…
Noah enjoying the shore…
Standard beach photo… haha!
It’s no fun when you’re alone…
Castaway or Survivor?

panglao beach
And so castles made of sand, fall in the sea, eventually.

 

Ten Suggestions for Maxed-Out Moms

Ever since I started to read parenting, mothering, and self-help books, I have become more conscious about my choices and reactions to outside stimuli. This year, I asked God to help me develop this Fruit of the Spirit: PATIENCE. Earlier this year, He gave me patients that would require me to extend my patience.

And then there’s Noah. Our little bundle of joy that has turned into a little tornado. My being a stay-at-home mom is perfect for him or so I thought. It’s not easy and I need all the help from my husband. It turned out, the things I know about parenting and taking care of my nephews and nieces are different when it comes to your own offspring.

I’m not yet a Maxed-Out Mom but as early as now, I’d like to avoid being burned out when it comes to managing my family.  A change within is more of what I want to happen.

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And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
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Intentional Parenting. This is what my husband and I want to do. I believe parenting is not rocket science but thank God for His Word to serve as our guide.

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Here’s a continuation of my sharing the things I’ve learned from Linda Weber’s book “HELP! I’M A MAXED-OUT MOM”.  I pray that you learn a thing or two from this list. May these words give you hope and a renewed strength.

  1. Never give up. You don’t always have to overcome every obstacle. Take a break. Comparisons are deadly, each one has her own problem.
  2. Grieve your loss. Deal with and go trough a process of coming to terms with the situation. There’s so much to deal with as we experience loss.
  3. Get help. Never grieve alone. You need another perspective, insight, or training. Don’t be embarrassed to ask help.
  4. Cherish your relationships. Don’t cut yourself off. Don’t destroy relationships through neglect or rejection. Don’t let the Maxed-Out Mom Syndrome continue.
  5. Admit your failures–then move one. Choose to avoid gulit and rid yourselves of dysfunction.
  6. Keep loving. Disapprove foolish choices, but don’t reject the child who made them. Real love is given despite the circumstances.
  7. Don’t dominate. Don’t try to fix the people involved. Don’t try to manipulate people into acting the way she thinks is best. A domineering mother can be one of the most dangerous and damaging parts of any crisis.
  8. Be creative. Bring creativity into the situation. See from a different angle, think of new solutions and ways to handle the problem.Creativity is stimulated by need. Find a group of women who can help you. Learn and profit from others’ experiences. Learn to duplicate the good and avoid the pitfalls. There’s always a way to lighten the load. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  9. Let the process refine you. Fire can destroy or purify. It’s up to you if you will let circumstances to change or forever make you feel bitter.
  10. Stop looking back and wishing. Too much of the past can keep you to move forward and change for the better. Stop blaming others or yourself for your misfortune. You can do something about your future.

I learned so much from this list. Most of us may have already read or heard about such but we forget them when “real life” happens. Relax. There are ways to handle your family.

If you haven’t experienced being stressed as a mom or a wife, let me tell you: life isn’t always sweet. Sure, you may avoid these mommy-challenges by either getting a lot of help or depending on your parents or in-laws, but ultimately, it’s your job as a mother (or as a father) to “disciple” your child. 🙂

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The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.

Psalm 9:9-10

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