April 7, 2004

All I needed was a good cry. God granted me. I escaped just for awhile. But then He came looking for me. I felt hopeless. And everytime I would feel such loneliness and despair, He would immediately carry me. I ran towards him like a child expecting his father.

My Sunday morning started without a hint of gladness. I felt so heavy. It wasn’t because of the dreams I had. What were they? Actually, I can’t remember.

I dressed so quickly. Ran outside to get a ride. Waited for so long. Traveled with speed. Rushed to get inside church. I thought I wouldn’t be able to sing. But lo and behold, the service hasn’t started yet.

The church got filled with wondrous music. But I couldn’t bring myself to The Presence. I tried to sing songs like I always do. But no words came out. I heard not my own soul singing.

When was the last time God touched me in a special way? I got filled but for awhile forgot.

In a snap, I wanted to give up. Questions rushed through my mind. I got confused. Memories came rushing. They’re all coming back.

I needed peace. I needed an answer. I needed my Father.

Then the words…of one song dug through my core. Reminded me of His magnificence.

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You

I will sing to You, Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I’m carried in everlasting arms
You’ll never let me go
Through it all

All it took was a moment of surrender. I willingly surrendered …freely and inexplicably.

God sees me. As I look. As I wait. As I sing a hymn. In faith. In His arms.

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