state of being: mad!!!

in mind: im just really mad. I hate someone’s guts.

fear popping up as i type this: that someone might just stop doing whatever he’s doing right now

profound thought: hmmm…I just realized that God is still the Greatest Author of my Life

breakfast: nothing. sat straight on the computer chair, turned on the pc, and flew into cyberspace

lunch: haven’t had my lunch yet but I will as soon as I publish this entry. I’ll be having garlic chix.

thoughts concerning the rest of the day: decide whether to text him or not

what i’ll do now: try to smile.

what i’m really feeling right now: mad.bad.sad.

what i really want to say for a long time now: aaaaaaaaargh!!!

im really hurt.what did you do? i forgot. im just hurt.i hate this feeling.help me.

tentenen..tentenenen…gumaganda ang istorya..yiheeee!! wahahahaha!

my friendster account is almost full. three more friends. so i opened a second account. not bad. i know “almost” everybody or atleast have met them before. i dont just add people that i dont really know. that means i know more than 500 people. i started friendstering last june 2003 and it took me a year to fill them up. but that’s okay. there is no competition. i know some people have more than 10 accounts. crazy. they dont even know all of them. what’s the use? ewan.

i have in my hand an autographed tuck & patti cd and im not returning it to the owner…mwahahahahaha!!!

I prefer the latter.

I don’t know why I suddenly got deranged. Maybe because those were nothing.

I opened the window.

Let the sunrays enter my window on Saturdays, but still…

a smile was not seen.

Only glimpses.

Sunrays and Saturdays. I anticipated.

Eacy ray and each day, I would lay.

Wait till I got burned out.

I was patient and yet insane. Perplexed.

Got tired of writing my story, nibbling bars, and dancing salsa.

Never got to know the mystery behind the artificial.

It never worked.

My sunrays slashed. My Saturdays gone.

Yellow and Stripe. I am calmed.

Stripe came.

Its lines striking through the essence. Telling me to let go. Bringing me to the top.

So high I could fall. (I might, though. ) Anytime soon.

Stripe’s shadow is white. Soft as pillow. Clear as water.

Yellow and Stripe.

I am Yellow.

Yellow as the sunrays slashed. Flying freely.

I saw Stripe’s stripes . Thriving. Streaking. Shining brightly as the sunrays.

Only brighter.

One. Two. Three. I got hold of the stripe. Swinged.

Easy yet slow. But doom is unknown because I hope and I trust.

Sunrays and Saturdays. Yellow and Stripe.

I prefer the latter.

I don’t know why I changed. My emo’s thwarted.

I closed the window. It was broken.

I opened the window. A new one.

Let not the sunrays but Stripe to remain.

With music’s hope. I sing and dance. I just talk.

Sunrays and Saturdays. Yellow and Stripe.

I prefer the latter.

snippets

I’m a bum…again!!! My contract was finished last May 31…I must say that I had a great time there. The people were so great. I made lots of friends. My last week had been the hardest for me. I kept on remembering my first day there..was so quiet and shy(yeah right!) but after a few days..was already joking with them. My officemates like me very much (or so I think). I’ve made real good friends with some of them and I know it’ll stay that way forever. J They even had a despedida for me. My last day fell on a Monday but the Friday before that, they brought me to SoundStage. Funny but very touching, everyone chipped in some money so we could celebrate. Too bad, some of my real close friends weren’t able to come because they’re sick. Anyway, I had fun that night. Even if I was sitting the whole time. Hehe. I mean, I don’t really dance. Really I don’t. On my last day, I did nothing but just spent time with them, I even wrote each of them a note and posted them on their table. Some were funny..wala lang..but my message for each basically says it all. Ü Nuff said. Continue reading Snippets →

I am at the end

Of the road

I always wanted

To reach this far

Now that im here

I am confused

I wanna go back

To the start

Begin once again

Coz I so cherish

The memories I left

The people I met

I’m at par

Or so I think

I leap forward

I lunge

Jump high

Off to oblivion

50904

It took a lot of faith before the disciples obeyed Jesus. In my case, I know that I have yet to fully TRUST God in all aspects of my life. I’ve known this truth all my life but I haven’t really grasped its meaning. Maybe because I was so comfortable in my life then that I didn’t need to trust. But God, in all His righteousness and beauty, is teaching me to become a woman of faith. I need to have a faith like those of the disciples who obeyed the commands of Jesus even of they didn’t know what could possibly happen. I know I can only do so much to make things work so I have to yield a greater part of me to relying on the greatness of God. I know His promises are true but somehow, I can’t have the faith, courage, and the strength to just obey. God, help me to trust in you fully. I am your daughter and I know I have an inheritance in Your Kingdom.

Sometimes I feel that I am unworthy to be called a child of God. My past haunts me and I’m reminded of how I was when I wasn’t serious with my relationship with Christ, The enemy, up to now, still tries to make me remember my sins but God’s word says that I’m already a new creation. Clean slate. No matter what people say of me, I will not be ashamed because I know who has already made me whole. God’s grace enables me to come before Him and face the future. I am forgiven and I know I am set free. In return, as everyone should be, I’ll live righteously, in knowledge, in faith, and in grace. I know I can be holy because He provided everything I need to live a godly life. All I need to do is listen and heed to His commands.