Thursday, September 04
SUBJECT: just a thought…
GENRE: non-fiction
RATING: GP
WARNING: this is LONG…you might get bored…read this over a cup of coffee..
I took 17’s advice to go through my cabinet and ditch old clothes….i had nothing to do in the pm so I attacked my room with my bare hands and later with a broom…as ive said, my room’s so cluttered..time for me to offer mercy on it … And besides, ianne’s gonna sleep over tomorrow coz we’re gonna work on the revisions for our thesis (yeeeh scary..)..dyahe naman.. anyway, for the second time this quarter..i threw away the clothes i know I wouldn’t wear nah…i had a bucketful of em..let mom decide which to give and to whom..
As I was rummaging through my things, I realized that I’ve a lot that I don’t really use…and I don’t even remember I own them!!! So much for wanting “so much” in this life…is this part of my getting old??? But sometimes, I just can’t stop to ‘want’ things I don’t really need..but hello?!? im just human..harhar! I don’t really need them…It didn’t hurt so much that I have to toss ‘em away…everything I know I won’t be needing is already in the waste basket…wasted—not??..i used to think that getting rid of things as such is really sayang..but no..it felt so good..17’s right…no wonder a simple advice from a fashion mag can make a big difference…hehe…
After that, I had some thinking…actually, I’ve been contemplating on the meaning of life these past few days..i already know the purpose of this life but somehow I just wont let go of the stuff that are meaningless…im bothered by what Solomon(is he the writer?) said in Ecclesiastes that everything is meaningless…that wisdom, pleasure, folly and toil are meaningless(chapters 1 and 2)… came upon this book a few weeks ago and it got me into critical thinking..plus..i have in my hand the ‘purpose driven life’ book(highly recommended)…few years ago, I knew what I wanted in life and God revealed to me that those weren’t what he wants in my life…I felt happy and relieved that finally, He spoke to me..i felt confident that I have a ‘future’ in his kingdom…I guess I forgot about that..got so enamored with ‘meaningless’ stuff..i didn’t really forget but I just felt so confident that God has something for me…now, another wake-up call from Him…I mean, ive never done some serious thinking about “The Life” for a long time now..but I’m wondering..is this part of the phase im going through?? Rose says its just a phase..with the fact that im graduating and will be through college few weeks from now…that I have to start preparing my resume and look for a job..well..or simply the truth that I have to GROW UP!!!… I should have been experiencing these things earlier if only i didn’t try to shift to another course and had myself “delayed”…but God is a God of perfect timing…I know for sure that he allowed such to happen to me for a purpose… for a “meaningful purpose”..
anyway, im reflecting with a sore back…im having a difficulty breathing…add to that, pimples galore…aaaargh!! I hate my face these days…all chubby and red…no thanks to the typhoon..it made me so matakaw and tamad to even wash my face…and worse..made me sleep all day..(go mraz!!) tsktsktsk..this is bad…just bad… I wish someone would remind me how beautiful I am…even if its not true…
btw,ro says that I have many painless years ahead…ten years as he/she thinks…I wonder if it would be really painless..i hope so..i mean, ten years is such a long time..a lot can happen..i could get out of this country..make a name for myself..or go full time in a ministry..have a boyfriend(uuuy), get married(oooooh..) , bear kids( ouch!)…get rich…get a ‘life’..grow old!! Migosh! Im only 20 and yet im so anxious…tsktsktsk…but all I know is this: They that put their hope in the Lord will never be disappointed..and that’s exactly what im going to do…put all of my HOPE in God…its hope for the flowers…just have to locate my cocoon…
that’s all…you see..im not in the mood..hehe..
mood | i feel fresh
music | my kind of town – frank sinatral