You don’t love me, do you?

I always believed that I am so loved by the people around me. I am so used to the attention they give me. My friends envy me ‘coz they think everybody really loves me. But I don’t know about you. I think you love me but only out of obligation.

I wonder…are you grateful that you have me around? Maybe you just accepted the fact that we can do nothing about it. We’re tied. Forever.

You are the only person that made me hate myself and someone so much in my life. This isn’t hate-HATE. But hatred that stems from so much anger. And after a good cry, I’d be back to my old forgiving self then love you again.

(My love for you is always there anyway. Always.)

I still haven’t told you that I love you. I wonder if you yearn to hear me say that. I honestly think you don’t appreciate me. I never felt it. Never heard you. Not a single word.

We laugh. We share stories. We pray. But I don’t really know how you feel for me.

I am deeply embarrassed for having to write this. I feel it’s so unnecessary. So childish. I’m sorry but fingers just wont stop. My tears won’t stop. So much trying for trying to be strong. For pretending to be tough.

I am loved. I am appreciated.

Much. By others but you.

I hate this feeling. I don’t want to think and feel this way. It was just one argument but I was deeply hurt and I still am. I’m fed up with your disrespect.

Don’t tell me it’s so unchristian of me. You just don’t know how much I struggle inside. I am in this situation that I know you’ll never understand. I know how you feel about the situation but my position now is different. It is so much hurting.

The Lord knows that I love you. That I’m grateful I have you in my life. I know we’d be okay. Things will be alright. But just so you know how I feel, I am writing this. You are reading this. And most probably, the word also is.

I love you. I may hate you sometimes but good thing they pass. Forgive me as I forgive you. As God forgives us.

All I need is a little RESPECT. A little LOVE. A little APPRECIATION.

Just a LITTLE.

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