snippets

I’m a bum…again!!! My contract was finished last May 31…I must say that I had a great time there. The people were so great. I made lots of friends. My last week had been the hardest for me. I kept on remembering my first day there..was so quiet and shy(yeah right!) but after a few days..was already joking with them. My officemates like me very much (or so I think). I’ve made real good friends with some of them and I know it’ll stay that way forever. J They even had a despedida for me. My last day fell on a Monday but the Friday before that, they brought me to SoundStage. Funny but very touching, everyone chipped in some money so we could celebrate. Too bad, some of my real close friends weren’t able to come because they’re sick. Anyway, I had fun that night. Even if I was sitting the whole time. Hehe. I mean, I don’t really dance. Really I don’t. On my last day, I did nothing but just spent time with them, I even wrote each of them a note and posted them on their table. Some were funny..wala lang..but my message for each basically says it all. Ü Nuff said. Continue reading Snippets →

I am at the end

Of the road

I always wanted

To reach this far

Now that im here

I am confused

I wanna go back

To the start

Begin once again

Coz I so cherish

The memories I left

The people I met

I’m at par

Or so I think

I leap forward

I lunge

Jump high

Off to oblivion

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It took a lot of faith before the disciples obeyed Jesus. In my case, I know that I have yet to fully TRUST God in all aspects of my life. I’ve known this truth all my life but I haven’t really grasped its meaning. Maybe because I was so comfortable in my life then that I didn’t need to trust. But God, in all His righteousness and beauty, is teaching me to become a woman of faith. I need to have a faith like those of the disciples who obeyed the commands of Jesus even of they didn’t know what could possibly happen. I know I can only do so much to make things work so I have to yield a greater part of me to relying on the greatness of God. I know His promises are true but somehow, I can’t have the faith, courage, and the strength to just obey. God, help me to trust in you fully. I am your daughter and I know I have an inheritance in Your Kingdom.

Sometimes I feel that I am unworthy to be called a child of God. My past haunts me and I’m reminded of how I was when I wasn’t serious with my relationship with Christ, The enemy, up to now, still tries to make me remember my sins but God’s word says that I’m already a new creation. Clean slate. No matter what people say of me, I will not be ashamed because I know who has already made me whole. God’s grace enables me to come before Him and face the future. I am forgiven and I know I am set free. In return, as everyone should be, I’ll live righteously, in knowledge, in faith, and in grace. I know I can be holy because He provided everything I need to live a godly life. All I need to do is listen and heed to His commands.

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To pray for something is to believe that God will hear and answer it. I have to believe COMPLETELY in this as sometimes I doubt. I want to take off the mask I wear at times to free myself from unbelief. To get out of this cave of doubts. I want to know how it is to really feel the Power of Prayer working in my life. Lord, help me. Only you can make me believe the greater things you can miraculously do in my life.

My name is: reah

I may seem: quiet and mahinhin

But I’m really: a perfect definition of an antipode sabi nga ni bj:direct opposites – quiet and loud, mahinhin na adventurous, nice but so bad

Sometimes I feel: that I am not chosen

In the morning I: wake up, dress up, go to the office, and try to look for things to do there..hehe..

I like to sleep: a lot

Money is: what I need right now

One thing I wish I had is: flat abs..smaller face..bigger eyes..

One thing I have that I wish I didn’t is: my scar on my back..

All I need is: God

Love: is what is happening to me right now

First best friend: Karen morales

First real date: er…date ba yun?!

First real kiss: wala

First self purchased album: a backstreet boys cassette tape..yuck!!

First funeral: my lola oreng’s..i was grade two then

First pets: of my own—si kim..pusa
First piercing/tattoo: on the day I was born rin..i think..

First true love: ano tanong mo?

First enemy: my brutha I think

First musician you remember hearing in your house: si Psalty..hehe..

I had to let it out. So I cried again. I felt I haven’t been soaking in His presence. I’ve been neglecting Him all week long. I was so caught up with something that I hardly had time for my Father. I was so enamored with what declarations could offer me. Continue reading In heaven →

dont know what to do. faith. i need lots of it.

my boss went out again. I have nothing to do (as always!) . so I’ll just use this time to blog about the things I forgot to blog. Labo. I’ll just write whatever I can remember. Atleast, you’ll have something to read. Yeah right. As if you guys are dying to read my blog. Haha!

I know I could do better than blog twice a month. I just couldn’t get my fingers to start turning on the pc, connect, then blog away. I’ve been meaning to blog. I mean, I always want to. Everyday, I dream about updating my blog. But I cant understand why I just cant do it. I am online 9 hours everyday and about half of those hours, I am free as a bird. Free time baby. That’s what you get for getting a job that is Über easy. Haha! Oh well…enough about my ranting. I’m about to end my second paragraph anyway. Ehehe..

Oh gosh..i’m being senseless.

past tense

there were so many important things that happened to me during the past few weeks I haven’t been visible. There are things I wont and can never tell anyone. not a soul. never. while there are those that..well..of course, obviously..i can.

I went to UP last Thursday to buy sablay. Asked s to accompany me. It was so hot then!!! Was frustrated with UP for the last time. Why do I have to pay the cashier for the sablay? If I can just pay right then and there!? Good thing s had a car. I wouldn’t have to commute.

I got so sentimental though while walking . I said to myself, “omi!im not a student anymore..i’ll miss the green green grasses of this university.” Its one of my favorite things in UP. The smell of newly cut grasses. High! Haha!

Fast fast fast forward: my graduation day

It happened so unlike what I’ve always dreamed of. I formally graduated one year after the time I’m really supposed to graduate. I didn’t wanna go through with it days before Sunday. I just couldn’t feel the graduation fever. Err…is there such a thing when you study in UP?

I wasn’t even sure if my name’s on the list of graduating students. I wanted to see my name. But to no avail, the ever-efficient mass comm haven’t posted the list yet. Plus the tickets! What happened to those?! Aaargh! So…

Anyway, my Sunday didn’t start quite right. I woke up early because we had to leave at 7:00. I was still a sleepy head. Slept so late because I had to wait to wait for my grad dress. Twas actually finished at about 1 am. Great.

We picked up my sis and her son at their house. Dropped by our church then went back again because somebody forgot to bring the baby’s milk. I was pissed but I just kept quiet. Suddenly, mom realized that she forgot the camera at church. I wanted to cry. I wanted to explode. But I just stopped myself from crying and told myself, “this is supposed to be a special day for me.why cant anyone atleast try to make me happy?” I knew crying wouldn’t do any good so I stopped myself. I also said to myself that I shouldn’t have gone through this graduation. I should have been content. After all, I’m already finished with school. Am already working. Why go through the rites? I just thought it would make my parents happy. I just thought.

Arrived at the film center when all studes were lined up. I only recognized a few people that I know. Gosh..i really shouldn’t have gone through with it I realized. I felt so out of place. Anyway, joy welled within me when I finally saw my friends. Such a site to see their beaming faces. All dressed up and proud. Ü

I waited for that day all my life. But guess what? I wasn’t able to march with my fellow comm res majors?! Hahaha..i just left the line for about a few seconds coz I had to give the tickets to my parents. but hey..when I went back to the lobby..the comm. Res people were gone!!! Waaaah! Oh god..now this was such a bad idea! The ushers wouldn’t even let me in. but I did with all my might. I just ignored them. It was so obvious that they had no idea of what they’re doing. And so..i marched down the aisle together with the journ majors. Just great. Good thing, my friend reserved a seat for me. Thanks to her. If not, I would be sitting at the back of all the graduates. Good grief.

Went through with the rites. I wasn’t bored though. Was intently listening to the speakers. I didn’t feel proud when I went up the stage. I smiled widely but inside, I was so frustrated. I felt so incomplete. I didn’t know why. And I stil don’t know why.

That got to be the quickest graduation ever. I didn’t stay long because I couldn’t locate my friends. Where were they?? When I finally did, I just asked them to pose with me and asked my sis to shoot. That quick!!!

Went back to church to pick up my bro and bro-in-law for lunch. Went to The Bottomless Grill. Maaan..the food was great! Definitely. But after my second bowl of Mongolian, I got so dizzy. I wanted to puke. I wanted to die !!! coz I thought I was dying already. I was palpitating. I felt like blood was going up my head. I didn’t want to feel that again. Really. That was so sickening. I opted to stay inside the car. I really wanted to sleep. I knew that only sleeping would help me. So I did. Then slept again went I arrived at ics. Sleep. Sleep.sleep. That was all I needed. And it sure helped me.

I forgot what happened after that. Was just glad that the day ended.

Schucks

I tried rereading this blog before posting.

Gosh…This.is.so.not.me.

ei! where are my blogger friends?! where is me? haven’t had time to blog lately. but i have a lot on my mind. promise to blog about them as soon as i get the strength from up above.