Bye. I love you.


Good bye. I love you.

I remember those were my last words to you. Four days before you left. That was also the last time I saw you. You hugged me for the last time.

It’s been a year but my last memory of you is still very vivid. You were wearing a brown polo shirt which I have in my closet now. That Sunday, I also took the photo of you with the new Baby Seth and his parents. September last year, you were a brand new lolo four times to babies of relatives and friends.

You and Noah weren’t on good terms that day. You and my baby had this cute and funny relationship. I even took a picture of Noah struggling to get away from you. He just had his vaccine shot so he was irritable. I knew you understood.

As usual, you, mom, and Noah went home while Josh and I spent the afternoon together. I remember going to National Bookstore and buying you a Reader’s Digest. I don’t know why but I suddenly had the urge to pick up a copy and paid for it the last minute. God must have made me do it.

We went for a check up later and to the hospital to visit Ital’s new baby. We were hurrying to go home to you and mommy to pick up Noah.

I don’t remember the details but I found it weird you were spending time with us that evening. It was 10pm. Usually, you’d be in bed or would not bother to go down even if we were there.

Honestly, I told myself, “Anong ginagawa nito dito gabi na?” You were playing with Rambo. Sabi ko siguro nga enjoy lang siya.

Little did I know God made you spend those few hours with us.

We were about to go home. I said my goodbye and told you i love you. Just when I was about to get out of the door, I remember I bought you a Reader’s Digest so i said “wait may nakalimutan ako. Ayan para sayo.

“Uy thank you”

“Okay. Bye. I love you”. I gave you a hug and then you kissed me on the head.

That was it.

I never got to visit Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I’ve only been texting mom to ask about you. Okay naman. You were feeling better. You just needed to take new meds and go for more check ups.

Thursday. The five bottles of Barley arrived for you. I ordered some from my friend to give to you. Dra. Yee said it’s okay for you to take this new superfood.

I woke up early that day because I was to try a new recipe. But as i was going down our stairs, I remembered that I should write that tribute to you. I wrote one for mommy years ago and you never got to hear or read what I would say about you. I should have that morning and let you read right after. Oh well..

Did i mention I decided that day I’d buy you a Kindle? The new models were launched the day before and it was the first article I wrote for work.

And then I received a call from Mommy. That one call that forever changed my life…our lives.

I already shared to the whole world what happened that night. Of course, you know all about it. You were probably gone already when I found out.
I sometimes imagine you flying with an angel that night. Perhaps you visited each one of us to say goodbye. I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter.

Everything happened so quickly. You were gone. Just like that.

I cried everyday for two months after you left. I am still mourning but God has been comforting me. Everytime I cry, at the end of every “monument”(as we now fondly call it meaning drama moments) I would be praising God..thanking Him for your life and how you lived yours for your family.

I got some of your stuff too. I took a hundred pesos from your wallet. I found it amazing that you only had P400 in your wallet. 100 pesos for each one of us: mommy, ate, me, and enoch. Hehe.

I got your gold Orient watch. I just had to have that knowing that I’m into vintage watches. And recently, I got your other watches and had them fixed. Josh loves wearing your Timex watch.

I recently got your old blueprints. I don’t know what I’ll do with them. Someday, I’ll figure out how to repurpose them. And those architectural and interior design books I discovered during one of my cleaning marathons? I’m getting them as I’m into design right now.

Daddy, I just rediscovered my love for architecture. I remember I would love to pore over your books, imagining how I’d want my future house to be. I have this dream house and the idea I got from your architectural books.

I’m into woodwork and carpentry too now. If given a nice saw, a few nails, and wood, I think I could come up with something. I am planning to paint our chairs and some furniture. I wish I could ask you how to do these things properly. One of these days, I will contact your foreman and ask him.

But did you know I wanted to become an architect too? I had so many ideas but I had to let go of that dream because I didn’t know how to draw as good as you.

I guess my interest in home decor and design and doing stuff around the house is my way of being in touch with you. Perhaps I should take a few courses. What do you think?

Josh and I want to build a house soon but we don’t have enough money yet. We’re praying but can you pray for us Daddy?

Noah likes his Legos and Duplos. They are his current favorites. He can build stuff symmetrically. We notice that he’s spatial and visual just like you.

And before I forget, you have a new apo! You are a new lolo again to a granddaughter. The timing is just perfect. You were gone September and nine months later, a new baby. Did you ask God for this one too?

Daddy, she’s perfect! She looks so much like ate so in the future she will look like you. Hihi. She’s a girl version of Nav. Mommy is with them right now in Bangkok and she’s been having a blast taking care of the little girl. She’s an easy, happy baby just like Noah when he was little. Ava is our little princess. I sometimes imagine you carrying her. That would be so cute. Waaah!

She’s getting chubbier and cuter each day. There are times that I would cry because of longing —longing to kiss and hug her. And longing to have my own someday. When we decide it’s time to make a new baby, pray with us so Josh and I will have a daughter? Please? Just not right now. 😀

Lastly, your son is getting married. I know you’ve been asking when it will happen. It’s gonna happen next year, Daddy. You won’t be there but it’s going to be beautiful. Another one will be added to our family. Rachel is one remarkable woman. But I know you that. Enoch deserves her.

So it’s been a year. It’s been an adventure for us too. We get lonely at times but we’re more than grateful to God for the legacy you left.

Like I would always say..good night. I love you. Sweet dreams. God bless you. 🙂

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