F4 FEVER : sheeeeesh..

okay okay..before you scream for getting excited because you think here’s another f4 fan…take a deep breath and read..sorry to say… I’M NOT!!! ‘why not’ the fans may ask?? I still cant and I know I wont understand why pinoys go gaga over those four great looking Chinese guys….umm…wait..did I just say that they’re great looking??? They are I must admit…especially vic zhou(sp??)..hehe… Continue reading F4 FEVER : sheeeeesh.. →

i didn’t go to school today….again!!! i didn’t hear the alarm…aaaaargh!! I missed so many things today. I was supposed to have lunch with ame today and come with their editing. Just wanna see what they’re going to do for their broadjourn class. I know im tamad but this is the first that I didn’t hear the alarm…I forgot to tell my personal alarm clock to wake me up..hehe..

im so bored today..i wish I had joined the asian invasion..i wanna go there but wasn’t able to ask permission from my dad. I know he would allow me..oh well…no more use crying over spilled milk..i pray that kix and his friends would have fun and be so blessed..

a lot has been going on my mind…again…it must have been my being in solitude always … i would contemplate on my life..this LIFE…this great gift that makes me want to live more…I want to do so many things..i just don’t know when and where to start…

mode | hungry

music | gravel – ani difranco

its been days since ive last blogged…I have something i forgot to blog about yesterday:

church went well …I was just amazed how being excited and looking forward to your church’s service can make a difference…Sunday is my favorite day of the week coz not only because I get to see my friends but because it is only in ICS that I feel so at home outside my own home..i never miss to attend church…except once or twice in a year when I have a school trip or something…there are times when I would actually be in ics everyday of the week…that’s how I really love church..

anyway, I found church very blessed yesterday because I prepared my heart for it….its just so different when you go there earlier than the usual.. no hurrying up and getting anxious because you’re late or have important things to do before the service starts…its different when you pray for yourself and for others that God would prepare and open their minds..its just so different when you look forward to everything God has in store for you..i guess, i got used to going every Sunday..doing church stuff, seeing and being with the usual people, with all the clapping and the smiling..that I never got to really hear what was needed to be heard or the things really needed to be done which is to worship…that I got used to going through the routine every Sunday…its not that I don’t pray or listen to the message.Its just that everything looks and feels different if you really have your heart and mind open to whatever’s going to happen…its so good when you enter the church with an expectant heart and not an evaluative one.. I have learned to remove my qualms before entering the presence of God..its really true that everything would look so much different if you change your perspective…and that’s what happened to me….

I knew it.. but sometimes I forget the more important things.. church isn’t about being satisfied or being entertained by the people you see inside..its not about the benefits of being a member of the church.. it isn’t about getting to see your crushes or loved ones….church isn’t a ramp..it isn’t a crutch…church isn’t a place where you sleep…it isn’t a place where its okay to be late or absent…and most of all, church isn’t where getting the good Lord to bless you…you go to church to worship and hear God!!!…isn’t that so simple??? I know..its not only in church that you feel God..but hey..if you have a church, love it man!! Love it even if you don’t get satisfied with the music, message or the people…love your church for simply it being the house of God…it’s a place where you can heartily worship God with others who love Him..im getting tired of hearing all the “talks” or of the people saying that something is missing…or something wrong with the people..that they’re not blessed or something like that..i just couldn’t get it…why do they always look into those unimportant matters??…I mean, those wont do any good to your relationship with God…worship Him…that’s all you need to do: worship….

i now have a new perspective towards church..i don’t know if im right or just plain being OA…all I know is..i need to worship not only inside the church..and that I need to LIVE a LIFE of WORSHIP…

NOTE: pls comment on this peeps..i need to hear you scream!!!yeah beybeh!!

mode | kilig mode

music | letters to you(acoustic) – finch

Thursday, September 04

SUBJECT: just a thought…

GENRE: non-fiction

RATING: GP

WARNING: this is LONG…you might get bored…read this over a cup of coffee..

I took 17’s advice to go through my cabinet and ditch old clothes….i had nothing to do in the pm so I attacked my room with my bare hands and later with a broom…as ive said, my room’s so cluttered..time for me to offer mercy on it … And besides, ianne’s gonna sleep over tomorrow coz we’re gonna work on the revisions for our thesis (yeeeh scary..)..dyahe naman.. anyway, for the second time this quarter..i threw away the clothes i know I wouldn’t wear nah…i had a bucketful of em..let mom decide which to give and to whom..

As I was rummaging through my things, I realized that I’ve a lot that I don’t really use…and I don’t even remember I own them!!! So much for wanting “so much” in this life…is this part of my getting old??? But sometimes, I just can’t stop to ‘want’ things I don’t really need..but hello?!? im just human..harhar! I don’t really need them…It didn’t hurt so much that I have to toss ‘em away…everything I know I won’t be needing is already in the waste basket…wasted—not??..i used to think that getting rid of things as such is really sayang..but no..it felt so good..17’s right…no wonder a simple advice from a fashion mag can make a big difference…hehe…

After that, I had some thinking…actually, I’ve been contemplating on the meaning of life these past few days..i already know the purpose of this life but somehow I just wont let go of the stuff that are meaningless…im bothered by what Solomon(is he the writer?) said in Ecclesiastes that everything is meaningless…that wisdom, pleasure, folly and toil are meaningless(chapters 1 and 2)… came upon this book a few weeks ago and it got me into critical thinking..plus..i have in my hand the ‘purpose driven life’ book(highly recommended)…few years ago, I knew what I wanted in life and God revealed to me that those weren’t what he wants in my life…I felt happy and relieved that finally, He spoke to me..i felt confident that I have a ‘future’ in his kingdom…I guess I forgot about that..got so enamored with ‘meaningless’ stuff..i didn’t really forget but I just felt so confident that God has something for me…now, another wake-up call from Him…I mean, ive never done some serious thinking about “The Life” for a long time now..but I’m wondering..is this part of the phase im going through?? Rose says its just a phase..with the fact that im graduating and will be through college few weeks from now…that I have to start preparing my resume and look for a job..well..or simply the truth that I have to GROW UP!!!… I should have been experiencing these things earlier if only i didn’t try to shift to another course and had myself “delayed”…but God is a God of perfect timing…I know for sure that he allowed such to happen to me for a purpose… for a “meaningful purpose”..

anyway, im reflecting with a sore back…im having a difficulty breathing…add to that, pimples galore…aaaargh!! I hate my face these days…all chubby and red…no thanks to the typhoon..it made me so matakaw and tamad to even wash my face…and worse..made me sleep all day..(go mraz!!) tsktsktsk..this is bad…just bad… I wish someone would remind me how beautiful I am…even if its not true…

btw,ro says that I have many painless years ahead…ten years as he/she thinks…I wonder if it would be really painless..i hope so..i mean, ten years is such a long time..a lot can happen..i could get out of this country..make a name for myself..or go full time in a ministry..have a boyfriend(uuuy), get married(oooooh..) , bear kids( ouch!)…get rich…get a ‘life’..grow old!! Migosh! Im only 20 and yet im so anxious…tsktsktsk…but all I know is this: They that put their hope in the Lord will never be disappointed..and that’s exactly what im going to do…put all of my HOPE in God…its hope for the flowers…just have to locate my cocoon…

that’s all…you see..im not in the mood..hehe..

mood | i feel fresh

music | my kind of town – frank sinatral

i went to school….finally..haha! i had no choice…i had to pass a reaction paper for an ACLE-i-was-supposed-to-attend-but-didn’t and the outline for a concept paper for my anthro class…sat on my chair…listened, no, just heard the reporter…listened to my nun-techer speak about the use of religion in our society(gonna discuss this tom)…passed through AS walk to see of there were new kikay stuffs on sale..bought a plastic ring worth P20…proceeded to the main lib..photocopied the readings for my film class…saw lisa and told me that we wont be having class in the pm(as usual, ma’am Q aint coming and classes were already suspended)…went to the masscomm lib..borrowed books on hongkong cinema… went to the christmass tambayan…logged in..saw charis and ruthie…went home… it was raining so hard…and i actually enjoyed it!! Got splashed on by a bus….was wet from the waist down..i was like ‘whoooooah!’..but smiled because it was fun!!! I actually enjoyed being splashed on by rain water…never had that in years..its been a long time since I got really wet…was smiling happily on my way to the jeepney station…people were probably thinking what an Über crazy girl I am…haha! Care nila!? I was having fun then…when I got home I told my dad and about it and he joked that he’ll make sapak the driver..but I said no need because I found it fun fun fun!!! Crazy….cute…hehe.. that’s it….Tuesday thingies for me… oh, btw..did i mention that i slept from 1-6 pm?? mood | lethargic music | midnight at the oasis- maria muldaur

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i think I really am getting old….im experiencing the signs..my body is deteriorating(oooooh..…)….im beginning to like old songs now…the last time I was listening to a downloaded mp3 , my father sang along with me…autumn leaves…its an old song…oh daddy…soon we’ll be singing duets…haha!!…im now disinterested in soap operas…I don’t care if I miss an episode….and hear this ladies and gentlemen…am getting tired and weary of malls….(now that’s really a sign!)…just realized that it’s the same thing…over and over again…maybe because I don’t always have the money to go shopping and I always window shop……nah, I don’t think so…ive been doing that for years and now im getting really tired of it….all of it….or is it because im always with same group of people all the time? That I need someone new to go with me to the mall?? Aaaaargh…cant be…not anytime soon…what is wrong with me??i guess am just getting old….just changing my preferences…. the world is still the same…im just changing my perspectives…yeah….im just CHANGING…

Fyi, Im 20 years old…old eh?

mood | sore

music | real – plumb

ei! my last entry was long…i thought i said i couldnt get my hands do the clicking…liar!!

mood | sleepy

music | time after time – eva cassidy

posted by: blueberry010 at September 02, 2003 00:55 | link | comments |
rants

i want to write, write, and write a long blog but i just cant get my hands do the clicking…a lot of things have been going on my mind lately..so i’ll just post some snippets here:

room is still cluttered..or should i say…passage restrictive..etoy cant walk through my room
i wanna see Keka!!!
PLUMB rocks!!! the concert was so great i wanted to buy her new cd but i cant…didnt have enough moolah..my bro wouldn’t split money with me…
i recently had a booboo with this computer..tsktsk…
im so ‘tamad’ to go to school..especially after i passed our thesis..is this normal?? heck, yeah..for me…i’m always tamad..IT IS NORMAL..
i just found out that i have mild scoliosis…yep…mild…so that means it can still be corrected…good Lord!
my besty in the states wont call me…whats the matter with her??
i had fun at the spy kids movie…had fun taking on an off the glasses..hehe..ohm btw, i slept through the entire game challenge of the spy kids…fun huh?!
i find shaina Über pretty…ooooh! showbiz..

mood | accomplished

music | butterfly(acoustic) – lenny kravitz

sinusumapa ko talaga yang mga dagang yan!!!!!aaaaaaargh!!!!!!i hate you!!!!you ate my champola!!!!huhuhuhuhu now i have to settle for sticko…grrrrr…

I HAVE TICKETS TO THE PLUMB CONCERT!!! yahoo!!!!thanx to my ever fave JMA-er..hehehe

mood | happy

music | what it is to burn – finch

posted by: blueberry010 at August 29, 2003 23:52 | link | comments (1) |

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“Paris. First class. International—is the only way to happiness. It’s your destiny.”

These were the words that stuck to Donna’s mind that helped her achieve her dream of becoming an international stewardess… off to Paris. But before ‘Paris’, she went through a lot of difficulties including having failed the test for stewardess-ship(is there such a word?) and as always..her love life ..but I wont focus on that anymore. Donna wanted Paris as destination but instead were assigned to Cleveland . Her mentor Sally, a world-class flight stewardess, gave her ‘those words’ that made her strive for the best. She didn’t settle for ‘Cleveland’ and worked her way up to flying to Paris.and yahoooooo!! She finally did!!! But how? (im not in the mood to tell you the details..so see the movie for yourself…hehe)…

Now what girl??? i now ask myself “Whats my “PARIS”? …..and what’s yours??? Hmmmm….have a lot…the list is endless…i have to evaluate them though..need to think of the more important ones….aight?!?

Starring Gwyneth PAltrow, the movie View from the Top was the first movie I’ve seen since Full Throttle. I promised myself to drown in movies after my thesis writing and I finally had the chance to fulfill it… courtesy of my ate(tnx!). We were supposed to see Spy Kids 3d with baby Etoy but too bad… he’s sick. We can’t afford to drag him though he would love to see it very much. Next week perhaps?

i finished reading a comic book while waiting for my sister this afternoon…was standing for more than 2 hours buts that’s okay..the book was good…kinda bitin lang … it’s called AFTER EDEN..comic-cum-novel written by Arnold Arre…yep! He’s a Filipino and his book won an award(forgot na) …cool eh?! Its kinda anime-ish because of the graphics..i usually ignore comics with anime looking characters because I just hate them..i don’t know why..yeah..they’re cute but I just cant stand them..they’re so…I don’t know ..anyway..even if I hate ‘em, i found myself liking the book and endured my sore feet and my backache(which has been my prob for more than a week now )…anyway, the comic..er…book…was mainly about 2 people(though there were 6 characters)..a guy and a girl (mushy!!love story pala eh..hehe)..they were 2 separate people seemingly tired of their lives…they met and fell in love…turned out they were childhood friends…(think lavender..hehe)…they were so inlove with each other that they forgot about their friends..and these friends obviously became so jealous that they did mean things to separate them..and they succeeded!! Bad..i just hope my friends wouldn’t do that if they won’t like my guy..(q:meron na ba?? a:wala!!!) …the story ended without them reconciling…or atleast that’s how I understood it…(bummer..bitin tlg!!) pero ok lang…

btw, my partner and I already passed the 1st draft of our thesis last Monday….praises!praises!!! weeeeeeh! Im a free woman!!..atleast for the next few days…hehe..

SNIPPETS:

I JUST SAW MARS!!!!
already bought jacivelasquez’s new cd UNSPOKEN..nice..
wanna buy another cd..paolo santos’ vcd coz my friend egay’s there…wanna see his infamous hair…if it registers well on tv..hehehe..its the hair pare!!!its the hair!!! hows barbie??ehehe..

i’ll start blogging on this site from now on… this is way cooler than the other one. actually, this is my third blog site…but i guess i’ll be keeping this one…

my first day at work went okay..the people were all nice..it was so cold inside I should always bring a jacket…I think I made more than a dozen trips to the bathroom…there are no “papables” because most of them are real “papas”..(hehe..whattaterm..:p) but that’s okay, I don’t need their attention anymore..(uuuuy!)…what else?? mmm…I don’t wanna pass thru GSC coz im tempted to look around and buy…Lord, help me..
Continue reading First Day →